Saturday, July 24, 2010

Tough Love...It kinda hurts.

Melissa Urban & Dallas Hartwig are some pretty insanely strong individuals.  Like jump-over-cars and lift-twice-their-body weight strong.  They are also super healthy & really into a whole foods eating movement which I totally admire.  I can't quite imagine doing it right now, but I'm thinking it might fit in nicely after I reach my goal weight with my Take Shape for Life maintenance plan since it's eating really good whole foods all the time and because I know by then I'll have even more control over my issues with food.  Anyway, they are hardcore.  About everything.  They tell it to you straight.  Their clients are not coddled, babied, etc.  They both kinda scare me, actually!  Just teasin-I totally admire them & can't wait till my body is as rockin & strong as theirs.  Anyway, I recently came across a blog post by them with a portion called "Tough Love."  I laughed while reading it because they were not giving people an inch to complain.  I had to share because I agree with so much of what they're saying, so enjoy: 
{taken word for word from this post}

"Here comes the tough love. This is for those of you who are considering taking on this life-changing month, but aren’t sure you can actually pull it off, cheat free, for a full 30 days. This is for the people who have tried this before, but who “slipped” or “fell off the wagon” or “just HAD to eat (fill in food here) because of this (fill in event here)”. This is for you.
1. It is not hard.  Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Giving up heroin is hard. Beating cancer is hard.  Drinking your coffee black.  Is. Not. Hard. You won’t get any coddling, and you won’t get any sympathy for your “struggles”.  Because if we (Dallas and Melissa) can do this while living out of a car on our road trip,  relying on a restaurant or a cooler for 90% of our meals, while constantly socializing for business, YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime. So suck it up and join us.
2. Don’t tell us you “slipped”. Unless you physically tripped and your face landed in a box of Krispy Kremes, you DID NOT SLIP. You made a choice to eat something of poor quality. It’s always a choice, so do not phrase it as if you had an accident.  Commit here, 100%, for the full 30 days, or go somewhere else.
3. You never, ever, ever HAVE to eat anything you don’t want to eat. You’re all big boys and girls. Toughen up. Learn to say no (or make your Mom proud and say, “No, thank you”). Learn to stick up for yourself. Just because it’s your sister’s birthday, or your best friend’s wedding, or your company outing or the Fourth of July does not mean you have to eat anything.   It’s always a choice, and we would hope that you stopped succumbing to peer pressure in 10th grade."  Dallas Hartwig & Melissa Urban

What do you think?  Too harsh?  Maybe for some.  I think, though, that sometimes a little harsh is what we need.  I think oftentimes we have a hard time just being accountable to ourselves and we act like toddlers, justify our bad food choices, whine that it's too hard or takes too long to lose weight, look to people who will tell us what we want to hear {like that it's okay to shove an entire pan of brownies into our gut in one sitting}, point fingers & blame others, or get upset that what we're doing isn't working...all the while not doing what it really takes to make it work.   I think it most always comes down to commitment.  If you're not committed-no matter what it is-you will most always fail.  If you are committed-no matter what it is-you can most always accomplish it.  It may take more time than you'd planned.  It may be more of a sacrifice than you'd thought.  You may not always like the food {or the exercise, or fill in tbe blank _____, etc.} You may have to stick up for what you're doing, ask others to help you along, make tough choices, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, and be patient.  If you are fully committed though, it will happen.  
Now my style of coaching falls somewhere between the too soft approach and the too hardcore.  I think that it can be hard to live a healthier least at first and sometimes later on.  As I type there are brownies cooking in my oven that I was asked to bring to a church function tonight and the smell is heavenly & tempting, I'm not gonna lie.  I totally agree though that if I did eat one {which I won't} it would be my choice, my responsibility, and that I could blame no one else for the effect it would have on my mind/body/scale.  It would not have been a slip or an accident, it would have been a conscious choice.  I also agree that you-and I-never have to eat anything we don't want to {or want to but that won't help us achieve our goal}.  With all this said, I have been there.  I am there.  I am experiencing this change of lifestyle firsthand...and although it can be painful at times-as all growth experiences are-it's so totally worth it.  And, it helps to talk about it with people who are experiencing the same things.  So reach out & let me know how you're doing.  I will listen & commiserate, sympathize & empathize...and then I'll tell you to get your butt back to work.  It's the only way we'll reach our goals & become our best selves.

So weigh in.  Leave a comment and let me know what you think! 


  1. Well I am not going to weigh in because I am not trying to lose weight right now (pregnant), but I totally agree with your post. I fall into the not-so-good category of making excuses ALL THE TIME! I often find myself making a "commitment" to eat good for a whole day, week, etc... and then allow myself to eat that bowl of icecream, or that cinnamon roll. I almost daily fail and I know it is because I simply allow myself to make poor choices. I let myself go on "auto-pilot" and before I know it I have eaten a whole bunch of food that is downright bad for my body,(and I'm feeding a baby so it's double bad!)Being pregnant has made me realize even more than ever that I have a food addiction. Before I was pregnant I could "get away" with eating sweets often because I would tell myself that I would just workout extra hard. Sometimes I did workout extra hard to compensate and other times I simply didn't. But now being 8 months pregnant I do not have the luxary of kicking my butt in a workout and I have gained a lot more weight than I should have, maybe 20+ pounds by the end of my pregnancy. Even though I feel like I have failed myself, I am greatful that I am slowly learning that food is not the problem. My resolve to take-control of my food issue is the problem! Like you said in your post, noone can force you to eat junk. You alone are responsible for what goes into your body. I will NEVER giving up trying to master my control over food! THanks Karli for the awesome, inspiring post.

  2. Every word of the tough love is true. It makes me more motivated. I am struggling right you know...but I am getting there! I love your blog, thank you! Thank you for your dedication and motivation!

  3. That was exactly what i needed to hear for so many different reasons! It's true everything is a choice, we don't HAVE to do anything. So here is to some good changes and choices! Love ya Karli! Miss ur face!

  4. Thank you for the great information. I just learned of your site from the Sisters contest. I resolve to drink a lot more water. I have been exercising, and eating well, but I haven't been staying hyderated as well as I should.